I didn’t want to write this post at year-end, a time for gratitude, goal-setting and goodbyes. Nor did I want to post under the pretext of the Gregorian calendar change bringing both a New Year and the pressures of a “New You.” But I realized it doesn't really matter when I write this guide: for the clients I work with – leaders, managers, teams and those seeking to pivot to a new career – they are always in the middle of change.
Indeed, what most of us are in, most of the time, is the Muddy Middle of change.
The Muddy Middle is that stretch of time between the excitement and confidence of a new beginning but before the clarity and satisfaction of conclusion. While the Muddy Middle is necessarily unclear, it is also, essentially and wonderfully, the sticky center of change. And, if we are not mindful, it is also the time when fear and self-doubt take root and grow.
As a coach, I am honored with a front row seat to a client’s journey from frustration to success, yet it is in the Muddy Middle where I have to remind clients – and myself – to ask questions that discern what’s next, keep us present and measure how far we have come.
Where (Did?) do we Begin?
There can be many days when we feel like we are always learning, often the same lesson, over and over again. We forget to measure the distance we have traveled because we forget where, or when, we started. Metrics of any kind need a baseline, a starting point. Before embarking on intentional change, be clear on where you are starting. Having a starting point will bring a welcome perspective when change is confusing, challenging, seemingly impossible. Consider these questions at the beginning of your process. Specificity, especially when “looking back” makes reflections all the more meaningful.
Why am I making this change? Be specific on the behaviors or reasons, even what it feels like to want to change.
What steps happened to start the change? What has changed since then?
What did I do to make that happen? What could I try next time in a new challenge?
Are We There Yet?
We know from just about every car trip we took as a child, that the middle is the longest part of any journey. Yet when it comes to learning something new, the middle is not just an interminable distance suffered until the end, it is where the very change you are seeking happens. Find your footing by looking for the small wins. Consider these questions.
What improvement did you notice today, this week, even this month?
What did you intentionally practice that became just a little bit easier?
What did you try that was new?
Now What?
How do we know the change we desire, that we worked hard, is achieved? Is it indeed ever attained? Sometimes the goal indicates the change - a promotion, a new job, a stronger skill – but for the confidence that results from that change, we need to look to our own yardstick. And when we have reflected on this particular journey – where we started, the challenges, the resulting change - there is only one question left.
What’s next?
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