Long ago a dear friend pinned all of her disappointment on her expectations. Work, friends, romance were all falling short, leaving her frustrated and even angry. When her circumstances didn't change, she did. Changing what she expected fundamentally altered her perspective on life. She was rarely disappointed, more accepting and much happier. The lessons she learned and shared stick with me still.
In my own practice as a strengths-based executive coach, I understand the power of examining expectations and considering alternative points of view in unlocking new perspectives and possibilities. And yet, in times of change there are more significant questions to ponder: What if we had a set of expectations that neither disappointed us nor limited our possibilities? What if we had a framework of assumptions to help us navigate the hard corners of self-doubt and unhappiness in work and life?
What if we assumed not the worst, nor the best but instead embraced a few constant truths?
These are mine.
Change is Inevitable - Too often I hear from clients, colleagues, friends and family that they wish life would least slow down, that they could step off for a while, take a break and breathe. Yet we live in a dynamic time where the world seems both smaller and yet larger, compressed and complex (see VUCA framework). Stepping off may make us feel like we can never step back in or ever catch up. What if we accepted that change is a constant presence, both around us and within us? In a world of perpetual change being adaptable becomes more valuable than being perfect. Acknowledging that we won’t always have all the answers for us to focus on what we need to know at the right time.
Checking In - Checking in with ourselves is an essential practice for navigating and adapting
to the constant flow of change. Shutting down or stepping off is a natural response to being overwhelmed. We don’t have to step out to check-in. Self reflection provides a way to gauge our capacity and adjust accordingly, enabling us to process while remaining engaged.
Connecting With Others - We do not live, work or play in isolation. Key to enhancing our own understanding is paying close attention to and caring for others. “Everyone is going through something” is a helpful reminder, as is the idea that “we are each other’s keeper.” By staying focused on and being supportive of others, we can better understand the power of our individual agency.
Cultivate Curiosity - The question “what if” invites exploration without commitment. “What if” serves as a good mantra for not only nurturing curiosity, but also awareness of our own defaults and assumptions. Additionally phrases such as “tell me more” or even “yes and…?” keep us receptive to new information, present to what others are sharing and alive to the changes that may matter the most.
Yes, change is constant. We may not have to like it, most of us don’t but we should ask ourselves how we feel about it and why. By actively listening to ourselves and others while maintaining an open mind, we can stay more self-aware and flexible, resulting in increased happiness and effectiveness in the workplace.
What practices keep you centered during change?
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